Font Size

Question: What happened to you at fourteen that was so traumatic?

Reg Hartt: I read in a newspaper that God hated homosexuals. I read that any one who killed a homosexual was doing God a favor. I had not heard of the word “homosexual” until I saw it looming out across two pages in that newspaper. I had been sexually active with males and females. God, I read, hated men who lay with men. My heart froze. There was no one I could turn to. I lived in constant awareness that I was a monster.

Question: How did you handle it?

Reg Hartt: With great difficulty. Now I know that I was not alone. There were hundreds of thousands, possibly millions of kids around the world who passed through the fires I passed through. Guilt and shame are the great cripplers.

Question: How long did that last? You come across as pretty strong.

Reg Hartt: My father moved us from Chipman, New Brunswick to Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario. I hoped to leave the queer behind. Then I heard girls in my class saying I was queer. I realized it was something that was not going to be left behind. Years later, reading Charlie Chaplin’s MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY I learned that Chaplin grew up dirt poor white trash from the slums of Kennington in England. Chaplin wrote that he thought the doors open to the sons of the wealthy were closed to him until he read Ralph Waldo Emerson’s essay ON SELF RELIANCE. I read Emerson’s essay. The entire essay is well worth reading and re-reading. These words rang a bell loud and clear with me: “Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life’s cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another you only have an extemporaneous half possession. That which each can do best, none but his Maker can teach him. No man yet knows what it is, nor can, till that person has exhibited it. Where is the master who could have taught Shakespeare? Where is the master who could have instructed Franklin, or Washington, or Bacon, or Newton? Every great man is unique. The Scipionism of Scipio is precisely that part he could not borrow. Shakespeare will never be made by the study of Shakespeare. Do that which is assigned you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much…

“Whoso would be a man, must be a nonconformist. He who would gather immortal palms must not be hindered by the name of goodness, but must explore if it be goodness. Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. Absolve you to yourself, and you shall have the suffrage of the world. I remember an answer which when quite young I was prompted to make to a valued advisor who was wont to importune me with the dear old doctrines of the church. On my saying, ‘What do I
have with the sacredness of traditions, if I live wholly from within?’ my friend suggested, ‘–But these impulses may be from below, not from above,’ I replied. ‘They do not seem to me to be such; but if I am the Devil’s child, I will then live as one from the Devil.’ No law can be sacred to me but that of my own nature. Good and bad are but names transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my
constitution; the only wrong what is against it…I am ashamed to think how easily we capitulate to badges and names, to large societies and dead institutions.”

When I read, ‘They do not seem to me to be such; but if I am the Devil’s child, I will then live as one from the Devil’ I thought, “What balls that boy had!”

To live as one from the Devil. That was finally what saved me.

I had a newspaper route in Chipman. It was literally on the wrong side of the tracks. One day, during a blizzard, on the way home I sat in an empty boxcar and thought things through. My father spent much of his time at a home on my route. When I had delivered the newspaper that day the man who owned the house stood in the swirling snow. He told me to tell my father they had buried his child by that man’ s wife in the bush. I was struck by the coldness of that man’s heart. It was colder than the storm that raged around us. I knew this was something I could not share with my mother. When, many years later, I told my father his first words were, “It was not mine.” I did not give a damn whose child it was. I wept for the coldness of this world I live in. I decided in that boxcar that if this was the best people who claimed to believe in God could do I would be a child of Satan. Jean Cocteau said the same when he said, “Whatever the world condemns you for make it your own. It is yourself.”

Question: You have a replica of THE SHROUD OF TURIN hanging in your home. You write and speak about Jesus. What caused you to have a change of heart.

Reg Hartt: On a bus trip out to Hollywood in 1970 I read a uniquely powerful translation of THE NEW TESTAMENT through cover to cover five times. I did that not to find faith or God but to find out what the book itself has to say. I read it as a book which is how it should be read. After having done that I knew that conventional Christianity is the fruit of the tares.

Question: What’s the tares?

Reg Hartt: Tares is a type of darnel. Farmers called it cheat because it looked so much like wheat that in its early stages even a trained eye is hard put to tell one from the other. It is only when they bear fruit that the tares can be discerned from the wheat.

Question:What’s the context?

Reg Hartt: Read the parable of the tares and the wheat. A farmer gives his servants top quality seed. At night, after they have planted it, an enemy sows tares amidst the wheat. That was a crime under Roman law. When the wheat comes up the tares comes up with it. When they bear fruit the servants ask, “Did you not give us good seed? How came the tares to be here?

The farmer says, “Some enemy has done this thing.”

His servants ask, “Shall we pluck out the tares?”

This is an important question. The answer is equally important. The farmer tells them, “No, lest in pulling out the tares you harm the wheat.”

Question: Why is this important?

Reg Hartt: Because it gives us the key to tell true Christianity from false Christianity.

Question: How so?

Reg Hartt: The roots of the tares wrap themselves around the roots of the tares. It is impossible to pull out the tares without pulling out the wheat.

Question: What has this to do with the difference between false and true Christianity?

Reg Hartt: Have you read THE NEW TESTAMENT?

Question: No. Why?

Reg Hartt: If we do not know a language we rely on interpreters. We put our self at the mercy of the interpreters. For example most who read Karl Marx do not know that Marx himself rejected Marxism and with good cause.

Question: I did not know that.

Reg Hartt: Most don’t. Marx taught we can not have a socialist state because then the state becomes the capitalist.

Question: Did not know that either. What’s all this got to do with you?

Reg Hartt: I saw homosexuality as being the tares. I tried to rip it out of my soul. Of course I couldn’t. David Mamet, in his book TRUE AND FALSE, states it clearest: “Any system built on belief functions through the operations of guilt and hypocrisy. Such a system, whether of acting training, meditation self improvement etc., functions as a Pseudoreligjon and is predicated on the individual’s knowledge of his or her own worthlessness The system holds itself out as the alleviator, cleanser, and redeemer of the guilty individual

“Now none of us is free of self doubt, and none of us is free of guilt. We all have thoughts, feelings, episodes, and tendencies which we would rather did not exist.

“A guilt-based educational system, which is to say, most acting training, survives through the Support of adherents who were guilty before they signed up. who came to classes and failed (how could they do otherwise, as the training was nonsense), and were then informed that their feelings of shame_which they brought in with them—were due to their failure in class, and could be alleviated if and only if the student worked harder, “believed” more.

The truth is I am, we are sexual beings. Our ideas of human sexuality are completely wrong. I have always been attracted to women. When I was fourteen I had two girl friends.

Question: What happened to change that?

Reg Hartt: A new fellow came to town. The girls all thought he was sexy. They all wanted to know him. He chose me for a friend. I had no close friends. Hadn’t had one since I came home from school that first day at six. One day after we had known each other for a while he asked if I had ever corn holed. I did not know what the word meant. Not wanting to admit my ignorance I said yes. It’s a good idea if we don’t know what a word means to say we don’t as otherwise we can get fucked. Of course, the first time I experienced an orgasm that way I was astounded.

Question: How long did that continue?

Reg Hartt: Not very long. He dropped me once he had had me. A lot of people drop us after they have had us.

Question: How did you feel?

Reg Hartt: Rotten of course. That first person we have sex with whether it be male or female is someone we bond with as we bond with no other. That is why cultures insist on both parties remaining virginal until they are married. Of course, in our world today kids are having sex before their teens as I and those other kids did when I was six. Europeans when they sailed the world viewed the cultures they met as immoral and pagan because these peoples they found were extremely sexual. It was the European thinking that was wrong.

Question: If you are comfortable with both sexes why do you identify as queer?

Reg Hartt: Because no one kills us for identifying as straight. Charlie Chaplin’s widow Oona stated that contrary to popular belief Charlie Chaplin was not Jewish. She said that whenever he was asked if he was Jewish Chaplin always said yes because it is important to stand with those who are hated for any reason. I’m with Charlie.

Question: How does this relate to Jesse Dumanch and the file you downloaded.

Reg Hartt: Jesse Dumanch, from what I have learned, grew up on an army base. The details of all this are remarkably confusing. It is alleged that he was abused and raped repeatedly by the police, by politicians, by influential business men and others. I don’t personally know what is true about any of this. 

Question: Why would you want to see the pictures?

Reg Hartt: Why don’t you? I do extensive research on all of my programs. I do that because I want to know as much as I can learn. Those pictures are the key to the whole thing. I grew up in a personal hell. I was not alone. That hell has existed for a long time. The recent movie A BOY ERASED deals with a boy who lived through that Hell. Around the world right now there are children growing up in that Hell tormenting themselves in an effort to become what they were never meant to be. When I saw those pictures and saw how young he was when he was offered for sale the miracle for me is that he is still alive. Think of the tremendous damage done to the psyche of that child. From my own experience I know how deep that damage can go. When I came home from school at six to find all my cousins lined up against me I was plunged into that Hell. I don’t regret a moment of it.

Question” Why?

Reg Hartt: I was forced to learn to think for myself. It was either that or kill myself. How many people learn to think for themselves? Listen to John Taylor Gatto describe the tremendous damage being done to children by our education system: . I love when Gatto quotes Johann Fichte: “It is impossible to eliminate the disobedience gene in people who learn to think for them self.”

In all of this the one thing I know is true is that the world we live in is a monstrous place.  In THE LAST JUDGEMENT in THE GOSPEL OF MATTHEW we are told that the least among us is Jesus. How we spend eternity depends on how we treat the least among us. You can read it here in any translation you choose:     .

I am not concerned with whether eternity exists or does not exist. I am concerned with now. Now is something I know exists. I am not a passer by.

Question: No, you’re not. What happens next?

To be continued.

Bill Williams. 2/6/2019.

Jesse Dumanch according to everything that can be learned at this age was repeatedly raped by police officers, politicians, and influential people. Is any wonder so many want the details of his life to remain hidden?

Jesse Dumanch. That’s the face of a man who has seen the absolute worst the world has to show. The miracle is that he is still alive.




« »